Life re: Bourne

A hermit-crab in her summer habitat

Thursday, September 27, 2007

welcome to the wonderful world of boys

My first child is so good. Too good, actually, and that is one thing that is hard about parenting her. She fears authority figures more than she should, and she doesn't handle her imperfections well. She's kind of a typical first child.

My second child is bringing me new challenges that I didn't see coming. He's been in trouble at school this week, so I am being introduced to what it's like to have a kid who isn't always trying to be good. It's not terribly serious, and anyone who knows my son knows that he is a gentle, thoughtful person. But he is also six, and a boy, and on a mission to be in the "funny club" at school.

I emailed his teacher this week about what I had heard from Frank about him getting "yellow cards" and a "red card" in class. The way I understand it, everyone starts out the school day with a green card. If they make some not good choices, they get their green card taken and exchanged for a yellow card. If they make BAD choices, they get a red card.

Here is the email I got back from the teacher this morning.

Does it make me a bad parent if I laughed when I read it? No kids saw me while I was laughing, and I did tell little Mr. Funny Club that if he came home with anything but a green card today, he would get a consequence that he would not like. He looked nervous enough about that, so I think I'm on the right track with this. Time will tell, I guess. We shall see...

Hi Kate,

Monday he got a yellow card for poking holes in pink
erasers with pencils. He had to write: Ich werde Dinge
respektieren. 3 x.

Tuesday he got a red card for holding two sharpened
pencils 2 inches away from a neighbors eye and smiling
while doing it. He had to write: Ich werde Leute
respektieren. 5 x.

Wednesday he got a yellow card for repeatedly getting
off task while doing his work. He had to write: Ich
werde arbeiten. 3 x.

Other than those times, he has behaved fine. He has
not brought his math homework book in for a few days
though.

Herr S.

Monday, September 24, 2007

How we get to talk without interruption (Or IM Part II)

franksmama:
I'm sitting in the new guest room, just watched Frank run into his room with no pants or undies
tim:
??
franksmama:
from the bathroom
tim:
did he have an accident?
franksmama:
after running home saying he had to poop
tim:
did he come home from school by himself?
franksmama:
so he ran into his room holding his pants with two fingers
extended from his body
he didn't see me
I wonder if he will try to hide them
he's been known to throw poopy undies behind a radiator.
tim:
who is this kid?
franksmama:
yours
we were walking together from school. he threw down his lunchpail and backpack en route
and said he had to poop. I said run home. he
ran up the hill with one hand on his butt.
now I hear him playing something in his room
he's probably forgotten all about it
he was also telling tall tales on the way home
about how he got in trouble
and the whole class got no free play
tim:
so he did not get into trouble?
franksmama:
I don't know
I think his brain was backed up
with
poop
I just asked him why he changed
his pants
he says because he was hot
I said why'd you change your undies?
he gulped and got big eyes
said they were making him hot also
oh well. one more pile of shit to clean. what's new
when are you coming home
to clean up piles
tim:
be there at 5:00
franksmama:
of shit with me?
tim mcguire
just point me at the pile and be positive and I'll do anything you ask
franksmama:
be positive?!
can you write me a script so I know how to do that?
tim:
sure: instead of : " you never clean up anything, so how about cleaning up this pile of shit"
you could say, " Hey, you are so good at cleaning that I Saved this pile of shit for you"
franksmama: okay, thanks. I'll try that.